It’s been weeks since you broke up, but there’s that nagging feeling inside you telling you that it’s all a mistake. You consider that maybe your breakup is just temporary and that you two still have a shot at being together again.
How can you know for sure?
You still have a chance if…
1. You had a good relationship. Looking back after the breakup, you still think you had a good thing going. He was a great boyfriend and he could have made a good partner in life. However, the reason you broke up had less to do with personal differences and more to do with circumstances. Maybe he had to go away because of a new job and your relationship couldn’t handle the strain of going long distance. Maybe he has to work on a few things in his life before he can fully commit to you. There’s a good chance your relationship can still work out in the future if it seems like your breakup was more for practical reasons, and who knows when practicality might no longer be an issue in the future.
2. You stay in touch. You still talk. You can tell him about your day, and he can tell you about his. There’s no tone of desperation in either of your voices – just two good friends who are catching up. This might indicate a chance of getting back together if you’re still on good enough terms to talk to each other.
3. He messages you first. Even on days when you don’t have the time to talk, he still finds the time to be the once to contact you first. He might start off with a quick hi or a good morning, and that could be that. Either way, he’s still looking for any excuse to be able to talk to you.
4. Your conversations are more than just small talk. He might want to talk about your past relationship so soon after a breakup, but he does find other things to talk about so you still keep in touch. He might mention a new single from the band you both like or he wants to keep you updated on the pet you once shared. There is still a hint of a spark there even if he doesn’t explicitly talk about wanting to get back together.
5. He always has some reason to call you. No matter how small or trivial the reason may be, he will still call you. He might run into one of your old friends or might have watched a movie he knows you’ll like. If an ex has no intention of getting back together with you or even staying in touch, you’d be hard pressed to even get a word out of him. On the other hand, if he’s considering getting back together with you, he’ll make sure he’s updated with whatever is going on in your life.
6. He hasn’t gotten his stuff back from your place. One of the biggest hurdles of a breakup is getting all of your stuff back. In cases of really awful breakups, the stuff is delivered back to their owner – convenient and impersonal. Sometimes during the breakup, one of you packs up all the stuff and just heads for the door without looking back. However, if an ex isn’t quite ready to let you go yet, he’ll leave his stuff at your place for as long as he can. He’ll always have some excuse not to come and get it, possibly because he hopes that he would never have to.
7. He goes to where you often go. Often exes who no longer wish to be with each other try to avoid each other’s turfs. However, if you always seem to find him in places where you often hang out, he could be trying to get back into your good graces. He might be observing you from afar before mustering up the courage to say hi. He might be hoping that if you see enough of him, you’ll miss how things used to be and maybe try to get back together with him.
8. He can’t look you in the eye. He may be able to talk to you over the phone and text you whenever he pleases, but he can’t seem to look you straight in the eye. It might betray his desire to want to get back together with you. He could be averting his gaze because he feels guilty about letting you go. And he might also be hesitant to say that he wants to get back together with you.
9. It looks like there’s something he wants to say. You can tell there’s something he wants to say, but he can’t quite seem to come up with the right way to say it. This could be him trying to form the right words in his head. Maybe he’s looking for the perfect time or the perfect situation. Maybe he’s hoping you’d be the one to figure out on your own that he wants you back. Either way, there’s something about him that seems hesitant, but you may not be able to place it at first.
10. He asks if you’re seeing anyone. This one is a little tricky because it’s a dead giveaway when he tries to pry into your dating life. If he were absolutely and completely over you, he wouldn’t care if you were dating someone new. But if he is interested in getting back together with you, he’d like to know if he still has a chance. He wants to know who this new guy is and how long you’ve been seeing each other. He’d want to know if there’s any way he can convince you that he’s better than the new guy. Lastly, he wants to know how serious it is because he might consider giving up if you’re serious about the new guy you’re dating.
There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell he’d come back if…
11. He has packed up all his stuff. It’s like he never lived in your place at all. All his old t-shirts are gone, his designated drawers are empty, and even all the little things he leaves around the house are nowhere to be found. This is a sign that he has made sure he will never have a reason to go back to your house to get his stuff. This is about as final as it gets, and it’s like him saying that you’ll never see him (or his stuff) ever again.
12. You don’t hear from him. Even though he said he would like to be friends, it seems like that’s all just talk. After all, friends don’t suddenly just disappear, never to be heard from again. If a guy wants to get back together with you, he will still try to keep in touch in the smallest of ways. For instance, he might not text or call you outright, but he does view your Instagram Stories or likes your photos – that’s still keeping in touch. However, if it seems like he disappeared off the face of the earth, you best believe that he has disappeared from your life for good too.
13. The last time you spoke, he made sure to tie up loose ends. Usually, the breakup itself doesn’t take up too much time. It’s usually a conversation where one of you says he wants out, and the next minute you’re technically single. However, it’s the tying of loose ends that takes up more time. What will you do about the house? What about the furniture you shared? Who will keep the cat? How about the money he owes you? If your guy is adamant that there’s no way you will ever get back together, he will proactively make the effort to settle all those affairs.
14. He seems happier. You might be a bawling mess, but he seems to be adjusting well enough. When you check his Instagram, he’s still doing his usual thing – going to gigs, hanging out with his friends, and going back to work. He might even seem a little more jovial than he used to be. And when you see him, it’s like he’s a completely different man. He’s more social and quicker to laugh. If that’s the case, it’s safe to say that there’s no way he’ll go back to being his less happy self.
15. When he sees you, it’s all casual. You run into him again a couple of weeks after your breakup. You think this could be your chance to talk about possibly getting back together. You approach him nervously to say your piece and all he has to say to you is hi. It’s like you never shared those years together. He’s treating you not as someone he wishes he could get back, but instead he has relegated you to the past – someone he shared a part of his life with, but is not just another person in the crowd.
16. He’s seeing someone else, and it looks serious. Keep in mind that if he’s dating someone, there could still be that off chance that he’s doing it as a rebound or as a way to make you jealous. However, if it seems like his new girlfriend already lives with him, has regular brunch dates with his mom, and even has a dazzling ring on her finger, it’s time to just let it go. He’s found someone else and he’s serious about her. There is practically no chance that you’ll get back together.
Observe his behavior and look out for any of these signs. Who knows, your relationship might get better the second time around.