When you like someone, it seems impossible to talk to them. Each time you try to make conversation, it feels like all of the words leave your head. If you are struggling to learn how to approach your school, then there are a few techniques that can help. With a little practice, you can become confident in approaching your crush and make your first move.
1. Get a Chance Alone With Them
You cannot always follow this step, but it definitely helps to make things easier. When your crush is surrounded by a bunch of their friends, it feels like you have an audience. Not only do you have to worry about what to say to your crush, but you have to worry about what your crush’s friends think about you. While it is not always possible, getting a moment alone with your crush is the best way to talk to them and make your move.
If you need moral support or cannot find a moment alone with your crush, try bringing one of your friends along. Your friend can help keep the conversation going and make things feel more natural. If you are lucky, your friend will know your crush or your crush’s friends. They can help smooth the way so that you can easily, confidently talk to your crush.
2. Smile and Be Friendly
Do you like people who frown at you constantly? Of course not. You generally like being around people who are friendly and likable. When you approach your crush at school, it can feel intimidating. It feels impossible to relax and smile, but you need to smile. A smile will help your crush relax, and it will help you to appear friendly and likable.
Another way to appear friendly is by laying some groundwork. Before you actually approach your crush at school, start by saying hello for a few weeks. Ask her or him how their day is going and wave when you pass them in the hall. This helps to develop a friendly connection between you two.
This trick is not just something that relationship experts recommend—the CIA uses it to. Before they try to recruit a foreign agent, the CIA will place their agent in the field around the target. They want the foreign agent to feel used to and comfortable around the agent before any move is made. If it works for one of the world’s top spy agencies, it can definitely work for your crush!
3. Focus on Commonalities
This technique works for several reasons. First, a commonality gives you something to talk about with your crush and can be used to get the conversation going. It also works because a relationship works best between two people who have similar interests. If you already have a lot of things in common, it bodes well for a future relationship.
Since you go to school with your crush, this step is even easier. You probably have classes together or have each had the same teacher at some point. Even if you do not have the same class, you have probably taken the same subjects over the last few years. You can ask about a homework assignment from class or if she likes one of your favorite teachers. Talk about someone at school or the movie title on her T-shirt. Any of these topics can be used as a conversation starter and a bridge to a longer conversation together.
4. Learn to Listen
When people are nervous, they tend to talk faster than normal. Relax! One of the best tricks for approaching a crush is learning to listen. Ask your crush questions and really listen to the answer. This will make your crush feel flattered and appreciated. It also means that you don’t have to do so much work to talk. By asking questions, you increase the odds that your crush will like you and make the approach a lot easier on yourself.
5. Be Confident
If the last tip was the best trick, then this one is definitely the hardest trick. While it feels impossible, try to be as confident as you can. Smile, stand up straight and hold eye contact. This will make you seem friendly, likable and approachable. Confidence is also extremely attractive in a date, so you can boost your appeal by seeming confident.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Make the First Move
Let’s face it. Someone has to make the first move. If you are both too afraid to make a move, this relationship is never going anywhere. You would be surprised by the number of people who found out years later that their crush secretly liked them back. Don’t become that person. Make a move and have no regrets.
Think of it this way: the worst thing that could happen is that you get rejected. While rejections feel terrible, there is a silver lining in this cloud. If you ask a crush out and get turned down, then you know that you have to move on and stop worrying about it. If you never make a move, you could spend months or years obsessing over a crush who doesn’t actually like you. Ask your crush out for a cup of coffee or if they want to study for exams with you. Even if you get rejected, you will feel better with the answer to your “what-ifs” and know to move on.
What If You Are Rejected?
Rejections happen to everyone. Whether you are a Hollywood celebrity or just a student, you will probably get rejected at least once. As we said before, a rejection can be a good thing. You stop wasting countless hours wondering if your crush likes you and find out that you need to move on.
Your crush will most likely let you down easy and try to be nice about it. If they laugh or are mean about it, it will hurt for a while, but your crush actually did you a favor. If someone is mean or rude when you ask them out, then they would be a horrible person to date. The hurt you feel at getting rejected is only a fraction of how awful you would feel if you dated them. No matter how your crush responds in a rejection, the feelings will eventually face. It might not feel like it at first, but the feelings will go away and you will be glad that you found out if a relationship was ever possible.