You think that you have found a great guy, and it seems like he likes you back. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend. When a guy likes you but has a girlfriend, it can be extremely confusing. You think that you could have a great relationship together, but he is already taken. Do you do the right thing and hold off? Do you encourage him? What should you do when a guy likes you but has a girlfriend?
What to Do When a Guy Likes You But Has a Girlfriend
Before we jump into what you can or should do about it, it is important to make sure that you are right about his feelings. The following signs are the most common things that guys do when they like someone. If you notice many of these signs, then there is an excellent chance that he has feelings for you and is just not acting on them because he has a girlfriend right now.
1. He Actually Tells You That He Likes You
This is by far the most obvious way that a guy will let you know that he likes you. Perhaps you were texting back and forth, or he may have just told you about his feelings when you were together. Whatever the case, he actually told you that he likes you. He also told you that he has a girlfriend and can’t do anything about it. If a guy directly says that he likes you, you can basically bet that he does.
2. He Says That He Will Break Up With His Girlfriend to Date You
If the guy has realized that you are not willing to be the other woman or a booty call, then he has to step up his game. To be with you, he has to break up with his girlfriend. If he says this, you can bet that he likes you. Before you get too excited, you need to make sure that the break up is for sure. Tell him that you want to wait a couple of weeks before dating to make sure that he is truly over the relationship. After all, you don’t want to be a temporary fling after he told his girlfriend that he just needs “space” for a while.
3. He Keeps Looking at You
When you like someone, it is like you have a magic radar that tells you where they are at all times. When they enter the room, it is like your eyes are drawn to them. If he likes you, then he might look at you whenever you enter the room. You might notice him staring at you or trying to get your attention. If he looks at you constantly, then there is an excellent chance that he is attracted to you on some level.
4. He Keeps Touching You
How close you stand is a sign of how close your relationship is. A complete stranger would not be able to stand right next to you or touch you without it feeling uncomfortable. If he touches your elbow or gently touches your shoulder, then he probably feels close to you. If he has been your friend for a long time, then it could just represent his friendly feelings for you. When you have never been close friends before, then this is a definite sign that he likes you. He keeps touching you because he wants to be around you and get close to you.
5. He Flirts With You Constantly
This is a fairly obvious sign. Whenever you are around, he suddenly turns the charm on and starts flirting. If he has a girlfriend, he might only do this when she is away. This actually makes it even more obvious because he would not have to turn the charm off unless he had feelings that he knows his girlfriend would disapprove of.
6. He Tries to Kiss You
If he has kissed you already or is trying to kiss you, he definitely likes you. A secret affair can feel dangerous, exciting and more passionate than a “real” relationship. The hard part is knowing if the same feelings would still be there without that element of danger. If he has a girlfriend though, you should definitely hold back on any kissing or making out until he is single.
7. Something Feels Different
Listen to your gut instinct on this one. If something feels different when you are around him and it feels like the sparks are flying, then there might be something more to it than just a friendship.
8. You Go on Secret Dates
If he likes you, it is only natural that he would want to be around you. Unfortunately, this is entirely unfair to you. Even if he is not deliberately trying to start an affair, these secret meetings are not a good idea. Either you will end up as his secret mistress or you will end up alone when he realizes that what he is doing is wrong. Unless he is single, hold off on trying to have a relationship with him.
9. He Always Texts You
Guys are generally not known for texting all the time. If he constantly texts you or messages you online, it is because he wants to talk to you and be around with you. He might also do this because it is the only way that he can flirt with you without his girlfriend noticing it.
10. He Says He Loves You
This is another obvious sign that he likes you. He might tell you that he loves you and wants to be with you. He just needs more time to break up with his girlfriend so that she doesn’t feel quite as devastated. Whether he actually means this or not is a different story, so wait until he actually, genuinely breaks up with her before you do anything else.
Why Would a Guy Do This?
You are pretty certain that he likes you now, but you still feel confused. After all, he has a girlfriend who loves him. Why would he try to date someone else on the side?
One option is that he likes the fun and danger. When someone has an illicit affair, there is a secretive, dangerous aspect to it that enhances the excitement and pleasure. Unfortunately, this sense of danger and passion does not often transfer over to a real relationship. He might just be the kind of guy who loves to flirt and likes the excitement of flirting while he is taken.
It is also possible that he is tired of his current relationship. There might not be anything major wrong with the relationship, so he doesn’t have a clear reason to leave. Because of this, he is trying to find a reason to break up. Whatever the cause, he may have fallen out of love with his girlfriend and realized that he wants to move on.
What Should You Do Now?
Now that you know he likes you, you have to decide what your next step is. As a general rule, you should not do anything until he is actually single. There are several reasons for why this is just a bad idea. Morally, it is wrong to be the other woman and to hurt someone else’s relationship. Even if he does not see that it is wrong, you can be the better person and turn him down.
It is also a bad idea because you could end up as his booty call or mistress. He might view you as just an option or treat you differently because you were willing to have an affair with him. Worse still, having an affair teaches him that this is something he can do. If he cheats on her or breaks up with her to be with you, he will probably do the same thing to you in the future.
If you want to be the other woman and don’t care about who you hurt, then you can do it. Just make sure you go into the affair with the knowledge that it will probably not turn into something more. If you start your relationship out on the basis of cheating and having an affair, it will most likely remain that way.
If you really like him and want to be with him, tell him that, but also tell him that you will not be with him while he is taken. Give him your number and tell him to call you when you are single. If he is truly ready to break up with his girlfriend and wants to be with you, he will do it. If he only wanted the fun of flirting or the danger of the affair, he will not end things with her. By telling him that you can’t be with him until he is single, you can quickly figure out what his actual intentions are and if he wants to actually date you.